We spent last week at the dinner party from hell. This week introduced us to a fabulous back story (in every sense of the word), a chilling group of mini murderers, and my new favourite best friends forever. Before we get into that however, I'll start this recap with the usual warnings that....
there will be spoilers. Now let's talk Room Service.
The episode begins by answering the question of how Alex is adjusting to her new infected status. The answer is not well. She's a hot mess that wants to bite her patients, and ends up hiding in supply closets drinking blood. She also decided to make some more bad life choices and figures that she can cure the sick little boy (the one whose mom never vaccinated him) with her blood. She injects it into his IV which infects him with the virus. There is no way that this is going to end well, Alex.
We also get to find out what Donovan intends to do with Iris now that she's infected. He wants to use her as the insider woman for his and Ramona's revenge plot. Iris, however, doesn't look fit to walk on her own, never mind going toe to toe with the Countess. Donovan has to convince Ramona as she isn't initially sold on the plan, but she eventually comes around. Iris raises concerns that Countess will recognize her as someone who has been infected, but Donovan (who continues to be Son Of The Year) tells her that Countess barely looks at her. She's invisible. This makes her the perfect person for the job.
Meanwhile, the blood that Alex has injected has cleared the child's measles right up. He's bouncing around, eating candy, and probably murderous. Obviously, Alex thinks that the best thing to do is to discharge him (instead of keeping him for observation or something). She sets about getting his discharge papers.
Back at Hotel Cortez Iris is looking worse for wear. Liz Taylor immediately recognizes that she's infected and gives her some blood and triple sec to take the edge off. Iris' indignation at drinking blood is hilarious and endearing. Kathy Bates is incredible here. She's always fantastic, but this reminds you why she's such a powerhouse. She's not adjusting to life has a pseudo-vamp well at all. She's bemoaning the fact that she's stuck in her present state forever. She feels invisible (thanks, Donovan. Jerk.) and like everyone looks right through her. Liz, who hates pity parties in his hotel bar, tells her that her life doesn't have to be awful. He tells her to try some violet eye shadow and her luck just might change. It's the start of a beautiful friendship.
The little boy who Alex infected has started his school day off with murdering his parents. So glad she sent him home, instead of seeing what the repercussions of her actions were. He gets to school, and impresses a little girl in his class with tales of his near death experience which leads to them kissing in a supply closet of sorts. Vamp boy bites her lip, and after which bites his own so that she can 'taste his blood'. The teacher goes to check on them and finds the little girl in the midst of the transition. Max (the vamp child has a name) sneaks up behind the teacher and cuts her throat telling the little girl to drink and promises her she'll feel amazing. Max proceeds to infect his entire class (way to go there, Alex) and it is a blood bath. Max cuts another teacher's throat and the other children feast on his blood. There are now a bunch of murderous child vampires 'in the wild' (meaning outside Hotel Cortez). I predict Countess is not going to like this attention. We know that drawing attention to yourself is a sure way to get killed.
The school goes on lock down as other adults realize people have been murdered and that there is blood everywhere. The police and SWAT team show up thinking there has been a school shooting (nice call back to season one and Tate) and clear the children out of the school bringing them to the loving arms of their parents. In an incredibly chilling sequence we see how cold, and calculating these kids are. They are intelligent and brutal and that (along with zero remorse) makes for a scary combination. They blame the attack on just one assailant, with each of them giving the exact same story. Chills. Chills. Chills.
John, who is still making ill advised decisions, reports his dinner party from hell to his boss. It goes exactly as well as you would expect with his boss thinking John is losing it
again. Yup,
again. Turns out John had a real hard time with Holden's disappearance and had a breakdown. He had to be cleared via psych evaluation to come back to work, and it sounds like he was barely cleared. The odds of John being the Ten Commandments Killer just keep going up. John's boss decides that John shouldn't be working and pretty much fires him. He tells John that his pension is safe, and John replies that nothing is safe. (Seriously, I am 1000% convinced John is a serial killer).
If Iris' day wasn't bad enough, she has to deal with the worst possible type of customer. A young couple who are seriously the most annoying people ever check into Hotel Cortez. They demand a discount because they kind of know Will Drake but Iris isn't having it. The couple, on top of being annoying, hates Halloween and they want to use the hotel to avoid all the kids coming to their door. They proceed to complain about the room, the sheets, the towels and pretty much everything else in the room. In the process of their epic complaint session they also make Iris feel stupid, which rude.
Iris goes back downstairs to get what the annoying brats asked for when she runs into Tristan (the only glimpse of Finn this entire episode) and Countess who are heading out to celebrate Halloween looking like this.....
Dracula and Mina Harker! Finn looks incredible in this costume. The top hat especially works. I love their costume and the little bite marks on Countess are a nice touch. Countess and Tristan immediately sense that Iris smells different. I think Countess knows Iris has been infected, but instead of being angry, she seems amused by the entire thing. When asked why she is on edge Iris makes up a story about Halloween, and the costumes that nobody is buying, but Tristan and Countess head out. I wonder if Countess doesn't see her as a threat and since Donovan didn't fall in love with his mother, she just doesn't care.
The annoying couple call down to order the most ridiculous room service order (title reference!). They order 'artisanal cheeses, a full body red wine, grilled romaine (organic), and pâté'. Iris has no clue what the heck they are talking about, and they yell at her for it which in her fragile emotional state makes her cry. She meekly tells Liz Taylor that they want pâté. Liz, who is fabulous, decides that if they want pâté, they'll give it to them in the form of cat food.
This entire sequence between Denis O'Hare and Kathy Bates is phenomenal. When American Horror Story allows their characters to have these quieter moments together, especially ones with the talent of these two, it's magic. During their conversation Iris asks Liz for his story. She is curious about him, and feels bad she never asked before.
Liz's back story may just be my favourite thing about the entire episode. We learn that Liz used to be a married man from the suburbs who married his wife because they were the same dress size (she married him because she was 30 and needed to marry someone, he quips). Liz has a great line during this about how he felt like a 'man walking through the raindrops'. He felt that there was no release from the burning inside of him. He was a business man who used his business trips to Los Angeles (where he stayed at the Hotel Cortez) to spend time getting drunk on champagne while wearing his wife's clothes.
It turns out that he has caught the attention of the Countess during these trips. In a rare glimpse at a more reserved, and compassionate Countess, we see her words turn a distraught Nick (Liz's real name) into the Liz Taylor we know and love. She urges him to become who he was born to be - a goddess. She gives him a make over and dishes out fantastic advice, including this breathtaking line that ignites jealousy that you didn't write it yourself...
She urges him to go out as himself. She wants to take him to the Roxy (and call up Mick Jagger) but that is too much for newly named (Countess is the one that christened him Liz Taylor) Liz. Countess gets him to take the first steps though by going to get ice in full Liz flair. His co-workers see him, and it immediately turns awful. They accuse Liz of giving them AIDS (because they've shared a Sprite with him. Asshats.). Liz fights back with his newly found courage from Countess' pep talk. Countess, however, has zero patience for them and kills the jerks. We learn that Liz is not infected, and he never went home. He stayed at the hotel. In her own way the Countess was good for him. I bet that Lady Gaga loved this entire scene. She's outspoken in embracing who you are (evident in her Born This Way single) and this message is powerful. I was also pleasantly surprised that she held her own against Denis O'Hare here.
Liz and Iris are kindred spirits in so many ways. Liz has been where Iris is. Liz is just paying it forward by giving Iris her own pep talk, and tells Iris to not take any shit from anyone, and says she should start with the annoying couple upstairs. Iris delivers the cat food pâté to them, and the annoying couple gets even more annoying because she doesn't have anything else they asked for. They insult Iris, the hotel, and Will Drake all in one breath. Iris eventually has enough of their crap and decides to kill them both embracing her new vampire side. It's a bloody mess, and emotional as Iris pours out all of her feelings screaming 'I MATTER' as she stabs them over and over. Liz helps her dispose of the bodies and they solidify their new best friends forever status by toasting with Iris quipping that she never knew how to live until she died.
Continuing John's string of very bad days (and decisions) he finds himself waking up next to Sally. Seems he and Sally have had lots of rough sexytimes the night before and John remembers pretty much nothing. He seems to have a few flashes of what happened (including an elevator make out session) but otherwise the night is a blank. These blackouts only increase the probability of him being the Ten Commandments Killer. I would be more surprised at this point if he's NOT the killer. John kicks Sally out of his room. Sally tells him that they'll be hooking up again, and again because they are destined to.
Alex is reunited with Holden who immediately recognizes that she is now like him. He wants to know if that means that Alex can stay with him forever. Countess tells Alex that she'll be the new Governess for the children and that as long as she does what the Countess says that her and Holden can stay together. Alex is concerned that John lives at the hotel, and Countess subtly tells her to just kill him if he becomes a problem. Countess tells Holden that it's time for bed, and we learn that a new coffin has been added to the room that the children sleep in. One big enough for both Alex and Holden. We end the episode with Alex holding Holden in the coffin, happy to be with her son forever.
Anyone still unconvinced John is the murderer? It's obvious at this point, no? Also, the Countess might want to be scared of this new, fierce Iris. Just saying. I am also pretty sure at this point that they are taunting me by seeing how little of Finn Wittrock they can actually show each episode. Not cool, Ryan Murphy. Not cool.
Until next week..... enjoy your stay (just don't order the pâté)
