Monday, November 2, 2015

Cam Girl by Leah Raeder



Cam Girl by Leah Raeder
Release Date - November 3, 2015
Publisher Website - Simon and Schuster
Publisher Social Media - Twitter
Pages - 320 pages
My Rating - 4/5
**received for honest review from the publisher**

Here is the Goodreads synopsis
Vada Bergen is broke, the black sheep of her family, and moving a thousand miles away from home for grad school, but she’s got the two things she loves most: her art and her best friend—and sometimes more—Ellis Carraway. Ellis and Vada have a friendship so consuming it’s hard to tell where one girl ends and the other begins. It’s intense. It’s a little codependent. And nothing can tear them apart.

Until an accident on an icy winter road changes everything.

Vada is left deeply scarred, both emotionally and physically. Her once-promising art career is cut short. And Ellis pulls away, unwilling to talk about that night. Everything Vada loved is gone.

She’s got nothing left to lose.

So when she meets some smooth-talking entrepreneurs who offer to set her up as a cam girl, she can’t say no. All Vada has to do is spend a couple hours each night stripping on webcam, and the “tips” come pouring in.

It’s just a kinky escape from reality until a client gets serious. “Blue” is mysterious, alluring, and more interested in Vada’s life than her body. Online, they chat intimately. Blue helps her heal. And he pays well, but he wants her all to himself. No more cam shows. It’s an easy decision: she’s starting to fall for him. But the steamier it gets, the more she craves the real man behind the keyboard. So Vada pops the question:

Can we meet IRL?

Blue agrees, on one condition. A condition that brings back a ghost from her past. Now Vada must confront the devastating secrets she's been running from—those of others, and those she's been keeping from herself...
We live in a world where everyone and everything is defined by labels. Cam Girl asks what those labels really mean, and the fluidity and range that exist within any spectrum of any label. It's a thought provoking, intense book from an author who is quickly becoming one of my favourites.

Gender and how we define it is the primary focus of Cam Girl. People can be one sex anatomically but inside feel the opposite. This not however the only focus found within these pages. Vada struggles with labels. She feels pressure to put labels on things - her sexuality, her complicated relationship with Ellis, and so much more. The pressure she feels is both outer and inner. Through her struggle we see how the pressure to define and label things can restrict someone. The need for society to fit people into boxes is at odds with someone trying to figure things out within themselves. How can they be expected to put a name to something that they are not even sure of within themselves? There is something so arbitrary about a label that feel stifling. They are at once reassuring and terrifying. That dilemma is the crux of Cam Girl's story and a important message. It asks how many of us have ever felt truly comfortable with ourselves, for a variety of reasons, and what it would be like to feel like you couldn't put words to what that feeling inside you is, even as people demand it of you.

The idea that labels are not always up to you is also woven into the narrative. People assign you a label based sometimes solely on a snapshot of what they see and experience. This adds another layer to those who are struggling to define things within themselves, and can leave someone feeling like their voice doesn't matter. Like they can't define themselves on their own terms. It brings into focus the notion that it should be someone's decision to define themselves, and that they should do it when they are comfortable and ready. It shouldn't be done on someone else's terms.

Morally conflicted, damaged characters are a staple of any Leah Raeder book. There is something so incredibly raw and honest about both Leah's writing and the characters that inhabit her books. They don't just resonate with you, they linger. They open your eyes and leave you feeling that you've glimpsed inside someone's mind - messy, uncomfortable, unflinching parts and all. It's what Leah Raeder does best, and why her books bring forth such strong feelings and opinions. She makes us confront things about ourselves, people we know, and society and does so in a bold way.

The subtle ways this is connected to Black Iris has me really excited for future books from this author. They seem like more of companion novels where characters make appearances, or we hear about them from other characters so far. The possibilities this opens up are exciting. I appreciate that it was subtly done and did not feel gimmicky. It was entirely believable that these characters would know each other and there are a few surprise connections that I loved seeing revealed.

Leah Raeder crafts powerful stories that are so incredibly human that they resonate deep within you. Her love stories have an edge, a bite to them, that I haven't seen in other books. These broken, flawed characters, and her darkly haunting world are ones I want to visit again and again. If you haven't picked up one of her books I urge you do so immediately. 

Sunday, November 1, 2015

New To My Book Closet


It's that time of the week again. Time to show you what bookish goodies made their way into my home and book closet (to be saved from the evil book eating cat monster named Aria). This is inspired by the various "mailbox" posts out there (eg. In My Mailbox by The Story Siren, and Stacking the Shelves by Tynga's Reviews).

It's been a quieter week in my mailbox. I have one e-galley to share this week!


This Song Is (Not) For You by Laura Nowlin (goodreads)

A huge thank you to Raincoast Books for providing the e-galley for me to review!

What books made their way into your mailbox this week?

Happy Weekend and Happy Reading!

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Weekly Obsessions


The awesome Kelly at KellyVision started posting a weekly post highlighting whatever she happened to be obsessed with that week. I LOVE this idea, so much in fact that I will be doing it myself every Saturday.

BOOK

Cover for The Thousandth Floor by Katharine McGee (goodreads)


I am unsure if this is the actual cover. I've seen it around the internet but nothing officially announced anywhere. Either way, I love this cover. It perfectly captures the synopsis and that splash of red catches your eye. This is one I am highly anticipating in 2017!

Cover of Unrivaled by Alyson Noel (goodreads)


There is something extremely eye catching about the gold dipped strawberry. The synopsis also sounds great. I hope this series is fun, sexy and as exciting as I am anticipating.

TV/MOVIE

The Royal We movie adapation

The Hollywood Reporter has revealed that movie rights for The Royal We have been snapped up. Lauren Graham and Mae Witman are teaming up to produce and Lauren Graham will be writing the script. Mae Witman is in talks to star. This news has me so incredibly happy as I loved this book so much. I am hoping that the extra attention will make the Freddie centric companion novel more of a possibility.

OTHER

BEA and ALA 2016

This is about when my BEA excitement kicks in and I am obsessed with it for the next few months. I am so lucky to be attending both BEA and ALA this year. I have flights booked, hotels (mostly) reserved, and am just waiting to obtain my passes for each of the events. It'll be my first time going to ALA (and have been told that I will love it) so I am very excited. ALA is hosted in Orlando this year and I am so excited to spend a day at Disney World and have drinks with Kelly (from Kellyvision) and see a bunch of other bloggers. Getting to see everyone is my favourite part of events like this so let me know if you're attending either one!

What are you obsessed with this week?

Friday, October 30, 2015

American Horror Story: Hotel - Devil's Night



Halloween episodes are a bit of a tradition with American Horror Story and are always highly anticipated. This year's episode may not have moved the core story momentum forward but did provide a few tricks and treats.

Starting this recap with the usual warnings that.... there will be spoilers. Now let's talk Devil's Night.

This episode is the episode of people (mainly John and Alex) making really poor life choices. Seriously. They make the WORST decisions in this episode. Before we get to that though...

We basically have two main story lines going on this episode. John and the dinner party people literally kill to get invited to, and Alex dealing with the aftermath of finding Holden.

John's Story

We begin the episode with Richard Ramirez (aka The Night Stalker) checking into Hotel Cortez. He informs Liz Taylor that he has standing reservation on Devil's Night (his third year attending) and is shown to his room. Liz Taylor has taken the liberty of checking him into a room that is currently occupied and we end the opening with Richard attacking the husband and wife inside the room in his signature fashion (lots of bringing up Satan, etc). He kills the husband but the wife runs into the hallway. She has a few seconds of freedom before being grabbed by Mr March who greats Richard like an old friend and tells him to finish her off.

A very scruffy (and good looking) John has a phone conversation with Scarlet. Seems she's moved in with her grandmother which, let's be honest, is the best thing that could have happened to that child. Her parents are not exactly in the running for any parenting awards. John is distracted by the insane amounts of blood pouring down his wall from the ceiling though (which, obviously) so he goes to investigate. He goes upstairs where Ms Evers is scrubbing blood out of some sheets but it just keeps reappearing. Turns out Halloween distracts her a little and that her and John have something in common (and not just their current address).

We learn that Ms Evers had a son. One who she dressed up in a cheap ghost costume (eye holes cut in a sheet) for Halloween. While trick or treating she is distracted by her snarky, thinly veiled conversation with another mother who obviously had way more time to make a costume, that she doesn't see her son get kidnapped. Turns out it was a serial killer who took a bunch of boys from the town and that Ms Evers never even got his body back (the killer dissolved the bodies and all she got back was part of his clothing). John can obviously relate to this story and Ms Evers assumes they'll be total bffs after this. However, she is too busy to discuss. She has to get Mr March's table ready for his guests.

John decides to use the computer to check out Ms Evers story. During his search he finds out that the murders took place in the 20's which means Ms Evers should not be alive. John is having a REALLY bad day.

John decides that this day requires alcohol (bad decision number one). He tells Liz about Alex telling him that he was not an alcoholic and that he is actually just a control freak. John is enjoying his double Martini when Aileen Wuornos joins him at the bar. She's played by a nearly unrecognizable Lily Rabe. She is incredible in this episode and KILLS the role (pun intended). She takes a liking to John who thinks she's in a Halloween costume when he recognizes her. They end up deciding to go back to John's room (bad decision number two) after some really uncomfortable flirting. Liz tries to stop him but John is too drunk to care. On their way to John's room Aileen hits him over the head and knocks him out. When he comes to Aileen is crazily screaming at him to stop taking things from her. John replies that he is tied to a chair (which is my favourite line from the episode). During their exchange she reveals that she's not in costume and welcomes him to Devil's Night at the Hotel Cortez before attacking him. They fight and struggle with John getting the upper hand and whipping out his favourite handcuffs to restrain her. He goes through her purse to find a piece of identification showing her legal name as Aileen Wuornos. John rushes down stairs to the front desk to call the police. Liz can barely contain an eye roll at the hot mess that is John right now. It's explained that even if John could make a call (no phones, WiFi, or anything remember) that Liz bets they won't find anything in John's room - Mr March is very protective of his guests. John, even while drunk, recalls that he knows all about James Patrick March. Liz explains what Devil's Night means at Hotel Cortez. James throws an extremely exclusive dinner party and John just so happens to be on the guest list. One second. One second. The guest list is all serial killers. All of them. So, we need to consider something - that our 'hero' may not be a hero. In fact, I am going to say that John is the Ten Commandments Killer. Crazy right? Maybe not so much. We know that you have to be a serial killer to go this party (it's a requirement of being invited) and what if John snapped after the thing with Holden and his family falling apart. He may be blacking out even and not realize it's him doing it. Those phone calls he had from the killer? Nobody else heard them or was there. He could be hallucinating them. I think this is a STRONG possibility.

John takes his invitation and goes to his room to find a fancy tuxedo waiting for him (a gift from Mr March, naturally). Wes Bentley wears the heck out of a tux, just saying. He decides to go to the party (bad decision number 3) and finds that John Wayne Gacy has joined Richard and Aileen. They serve up absinthe which John drinks. Aileen wants to sit near John at the dinner table BUT Mr March shuts that down quick (with Aileen calling him Clark Gable, which BRILLIANT). Everyone takes their seats and we see that Jeffrey Dahmer is already at the table. Mr March holds a toast to their special night and their new guest (seriously, John is a serial killer, 100%). John, showing signs of being intelligent for once, asks who Mr March is. John doesn't believe him when James tells him who he is citing that James Patrick March is already dead. James' reply that John has been at Hotel Cortez long enough to know that strange things happen is what everyone else is thinking. The Zodiac Killer (a faceless entity that waves his gun around a lot) interrupts John's questioning (and gets called out by Richard for giving himself his own nickname). The macabre group goes around the dinner table doing introductions (with Aileen teasing John that Dahmer has a crush on him). John gets handcuffed to his chair by Gacy during this exchange. After,  John does his own version of introductions for each of them which pretty much involves insulting all of them (MY FAVOURITE PART OF JOHN'S STORYLINE IN THIS EPISODE) but still doesn't believe that they are real. He thinks they are actors. The serial killers explain that James March taught them all while they were still alive. Each of them had a run in with James at the hotel and he shaped them all in some manner (so Tristan is not his first pupil). They look to James as a mentor. Once again Evan Peters is diving into this role and is the stand out of the season so far.

Jeffrey Dahmer complains that he is hungry and that he does not want salad while Aileen and Richard decide to have a dance party (I don't even know). Jeffrey doesn't have to worry because James has planned in advance and offers Dahmer a young man as his evening entertainment (which, ewwww). Dahmer immediately gets to work on murdering the poor young man (and it is the most unsettling part of the episode).

Meanwhile, we see Sally flirting with a young business man who just wants to score some drugs. She is eager to assist but instead takes him up to the demented dinner party as dessert. She is exchanging this man for another year of being left alone by James (ghost politics).

This entire episode is dark, and unsettling. It toys with the idea of serial killers having this notoriety and James even toasts this with his speech detailing how they are his definition of American success, how years later people are still enthralled, and that they have left their mark on society (he calls them the greatest killers of all time). Extremely true. It's totally a commentary on how society views these killers.

As the murder group begins to stab Sally's peace offering (with John freaking out) Sally slaps John and we see that everyone but John and Sally has disappeared. Sally tells him that the alcohol was making him hallucinate and that nobody is there. She tells him to trust her and takes him back to his room. We see that the party is still going on as Sally carries John out with Mr March watching them go (Again, he's totally the Ten Commandments Killer, isn't he?!).

Alex's Story

Alex took Holden out of the hotel. She's even brought him home. Holden seems out of place. He allows Alex to give him a check up (the kid has a really low body temperature). Holden complains that he is thirsty, so Alex rushes to get him some juice and has a complete breakdown in the kitchen (that is entirely warranted). When she collects herself enough to go back, she's discovered that Holden has bitten the family dog and is drinking his blood. Holden complains that he doesn't feel good (after Alex freaks out) and that he wants his 'other' mommy. Poor Alex.

Alex takes Holden back to Hotel Cortez and the tyke immediately runs to his coffin bed and Alex is greeted by Countess who offers to answer the questions she must have. Countess explains that Holden is infected with a virus that makes him immortal (putting it in terms that Alex can understand as a doctor). We also learn that Countess herself abducted Holden from the carnival that day (in the most conspicuous outfit EVER). Alex demands Countess change Holden back. Countess tells her that is not possible, but offers to turn Alex into what Holden is for the price her undying loyalty. Alex is not into it and goes to leave, vowing to call the cops. Tristan enters and pushes Alex down (and steps on her face. Rude much, Tristan). Countess tells him to let her go. She muses that Alex will not go to the police because she won't risk her one true love. Tristan takes her words the wrong way (he assumes the 'true love' is Countess herself) and demands to know if Countess is sleeping with Alex too. Jealousy isn't a good look, Tristan.

Obviously, Alex cares more for Holden than anything so she goes back to be turned by Countess (bad decision number four, for those keeping count). Countess explains a little of what happens during the process of being infected (it is apparently painful). We end the episode with Alex being held by the Countess as she takes the final breathes on her journey into immortality.

So, what did you think of Devil's Night? Are you, like me, convinced that John is the Ten Commandments Killer (without realizing it)? I would seriously bet money on it at this point. Is Scarlet basically screwed (perhaps she should stay with her grandmother permanently)? Will we ever find out what happened to Gabriel? I hope so! All in all, a decidedly decent outing this week that did not have nearly enough Finn Wittrock for my liking (fix this ASAP, Ryan Murphy). 

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Underneath Everything by Marcy Beller Paul



Underneath Everything by Marcy Beller Paul
Release Date - October 27, 2015
Publisher Website - Harper Collins
Publisher Social Media - Twitter/Facebook/SavvyReader/Frenzy
Pages - 304 pages
My Rating - 4/5
**received for an honest review from publisher**

Here is the Goodreads synopsis
Mattie shouldn’t be at the bonfire. She should be finding new maps for her collection, hanging out with Kris, and steering clear of almost everyone else, especially Jolene. After all, Mattie and Kris dropped off the social scene the summer after sophomore year for a reason.

But now Mattie is a senior, and she’s sick of missing things. So here she is.

And there’s Jolene: Beautiful. Captivating. Just like the stories she wove. Mattie would know; she used to star in them. She and Jolene were best friends. Mattie has the scar on her palm to prove it, and Jolene has everything else, including Hudson.

But when Mattie runs into Hudson and gets a glimpse of what could have been, she decides to take it all back: the boyfriend, the friends, the life she was supposed to live. Problem is, Mattie can’t figure out where Jolene ends and she begins.

Because there’s something Mattie hasn’t told anyone—she walked away from Jolene over a year ago, but she never really left.

Poignant and provocative, Marcy Beller Paul’s debut novel tells the story of an intoxicating—and toxic—relationship that blurs the boundary between reality and fantasy, love and loyalty, friendship and obsession.
When picking up Underneath Everything I knew to expect a story of a toxic friendship. Underneath Everything more than delivers on this promise, but it also boasts incredible writing, and an unflinchingly look at the complexity of female friendship.

Marcy Beller Paul's prose flows through the book with a dreamy, floating tone. There is also an incredibly sense of urgency and intrigue that is brought forth which combines with the dream like quality deliciously. The lines of reality and make believe are blurred and the writing captures this. Marcy Beller Paul excels at making the reader feel on edge. I was waiting for something horrible to happen. Some even darker twist, some reveal that would shatter everything. This feeling is vital to the overall story but also highlights that rush that would come from being friends with someone like Jolene. You begin to understand why this friendship exists and why Mattie would be, in a sense, addicted.

The lines of friendship and romance are twisted. There is more than a hint of 'something more' between Jolene and Mattie that is felt in every interaction. Female friendships, particularly in high school, often resonate like a romantic relationship. The sting of a 'friendship break up' can feel as crippling as a romantic one. There are whispered secrets shared in the dark, and hopes and wishes revealed. There is something innately intimate about these friendships. This novel captures that feeling effortlessly while showing the darker side some friendships can have.

The most unsettling thing about this book is how easily it is to understand the dynamics of Mattie and Joene's friendship. There are elements that almost everyone will recognize in friendships they have either had, or know of. The authentic nature of the story is what pulls you in, along with the compelling nature of March Beller Paul's writing.

The pacing of this one is a little slower. It builds everything at it's own pace. It is truly a character driven story in every sense. Those who need a breakneck speed plot will not find that here. Those who do read this, however, will be rewarded with fantastic characters, and an newly found author to watch.

A twisted friendship story, reminiscent of the movie Thirteen, that is unafraid to exam the complex nuances not just in teen girls, but in their friendships. It's a story that celebrates these complexities, and one that introduces a sharp new talent in the Young Adult genre. 

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Waiting On Wednesday ....... American Girls


Waiting On Wednesday is a weekly event, hosted by Jill at Breaking The Spine that spotlights upcoming releases that we're eagerly anticipating.

My pick this week is American Girls by Alison Umminger


Here is the Goodreads synopsis
Anna is a fifteen-year-old girl slouching toward adulthood.

Anna has had an excruciating year, topped off with new stepparents and a new school. So, she "borrows" her family's credit card and runs away to LA to crash with her half-sister. But in addition to not being wanted back by her parents, at least not immediately, Anna has to work to pay her way home. Her sister's creepy ex-boyfriend is directing an indie film inspired by girls who come to LA and disappear, literally or metaphorically, and he hires Anna for a seriously macabre research project--to research the murderous Manson girls.

This is not quite the summer Anna had in mind, but it may just be the one that she needs to understand and accept her family, and herself, in a new way. 

In Anna's singular voice, we glimpse not only a picture of life on the B-list in LA, but also a clear-eyed reflection on being young, vulnerable, lost, and female in America--in short, on the B-list of life. Alison Umminger writes about girls, sex, violence, and which people society deems worthy of caring about, which ones it doesn't, in a way not often seen in YA fiction.
This book has been on my radar since I first read the announcement. My desire to read it only increased as I heard more about it, and saw tweets confirming it was incredible. I keep hearing how great the writing is, and the premise sounds perfect for me.

The only thing about this book that doesn't sound amazing? The long wait until it's May release!

Expected release date - May 3, 2016

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Missing Dixie by Caisey Quinn



Missing Dixie by Caisey Quinn
Release Date - October 27, 2015
Publisher Website - Harper Collins
Publisher Social Media - Twitter/Facebook/SavvyReader/Frenzy
Pages - 336 pages
My Rating - 4/5
**received for an honest review from publisher**


**SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS BOOKS IN THE SERIES**

Here is the Goodreads synopsis
Fighting for redemption…

I've lived most of my life in darkness, beneath the shadows of secrets and addictions. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt the only girl I'd ever loved-the one who brought me into the light. In my entire life I'd made one promise-a promise I'd intended to keep. I've broken that promise and now I have to live with the fallout. Dixie Lark hates me, and I have to tell her that I love her. I also have to tell her a truth that might destroy us forever.

Can she love me even if she can't forgive me?

Learning to move on…

Gavin Garrison broke his promise to my brother and he broke my heart in the process. I may never love anyone the way I've loved him, but at least I won't spend my life wondering what if. We had our one night and he walked away. I'm finally beginning to move on when my brother's wedding and a battle of the bands brings us back together.

Our band is getting a second chance, but I don't know if I can give him one. How do you hand your heart back to the person who set it on fire once already? 
If you read my reviews for the previous books in this series you'll know how much I enjoy this series. Caisey Quinn has crafted an addictive love story in a world that is just as addictive. This is one of those series that you want to immediately know how it ends without it actually being over. In Missing Dixie she gives fans the perfect ending to the story that started in Leaving Amarillo and offers up more than a few surprises along the way.

The agonizing wait for the continuation of Gavin and Dixie's love story is one fans have been vocal about. The ending of Leaving Amarillo is brutal, and heart crushing. Loving Dallas offered no peace of mind either. Missing Dixie shows exactly why this had to happen. We needed the events of the previous two novels to get Gavin and Dixie to the point we find them at during Missing Dixie. They each needed to work on themselves before a relationship could be possible between them, and that is what Missing Dixie is about. It's about these two people growing and changing and hopefully finding their way to each other in the process.

Caisey Quinn is quite adept at making you feel the same feelings as the characters. You feel their heartbreak, their frustration, their joy, and happiness. She, through her writing, let's you take the journey with the characters. It's one of the strongest elements of her writing, and it ensures the connection to the characters is felt. It makes you invest in the outcome of the story and the invest in the characters themselves.

Music is a secondary character in this entire series. It's a living, breathing thing that consumes all of them. It's how they relate to things, how they express themselves, and something that binds them together. It's a force all on it's own, and one that is woven into everything. Music has the ability to move people, and that passion is felt here.

This novel, like Loving Dallas before it, is one of second chances. It's not just a second chance for Dixie and Gavin to get things right between them, but for the band too. Leaving Amarillo is just a much of a mess as the relationship between it's members. It's a sharp look at second chances and what it takes to move forward from the past. Having both the band and characters go through similar story arcs raised the stakes for both and made things just a little more complicated which added some urgency to the plot that I really enjoyed.

Calling Gavin and Dixie's relationship complex would be phrasing it mildly. Therefore, it is only fitting that their love story have an ending that is every bit the roller coaster their relationship is. Their own version of happily ever after is perfect for them. It's an ending that is just as complicated, just as hopeful, and just as right as the relationship between Gavin and Dixie.

Caisey Quinn wraps up this fun, sexy series with the perfect ending for this story in more ways than one. The wait to see how Gavin and Dixie's love story would end was made all the more worthwhile because of how satisfyingly their stories were wrapped up. If you like your books with music, steamy sexy scenes, and humour you'll love the Neon Dreams series.

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