American Horror Story: Apocalypse - Traitor

The seventh episode of this season, title Traitor, brought lots of plot movement, plenty of fun witch stuff, the world's most awkward dinner, and got us even closer to the more current timeline.

With the usual reminder of spoilers lets break down what happened. 

This week's cold open began to fill in Dinah's backstory prior to coming to the outpost. She took over as the voodoo queen after Marie Laveau died. We see her performing a bloody spell where she rips out some woman's heart. The heart, it turns out, is for spell that was bought and paid for by another woman. The dead woman had been having an affair with the other lady's husband and this was unacceptable. The spell was so that her cheating husband would keep his penis in his pants. The spell includes the heart, some herbs, spices, and other things including something from the wife herself. The wife provides some toenails which prompts Dinah to exclaim that she must really hate her husband. The wife mostly just hates his wandering penis so she even stops Dinah from adding strawberries to the mixture so that it 'goes down easier'. They force feed it to the woman's husband (which looks disgusting) and Dinah makes it so that he doesn't remember drinking it. She promises the woman that her husband will now be faithful because he will be incapable of getting hard for anyone but his wife.

Cordelia approaches Dinah outside the house and they bicker back and forth. Seems Dinah blames the witches for Marie's death while Cordelia hints that Dinah had the most to gain from it (she did become voodoo queen after all). Cordelia eventually admits she needs Dinah's help. She wants a meeting with Papa Legba (who those of you who watched Coven will remember). Dinah wants money, specifically $100,000.00 in cash, to make it happen. Papa Legba's 'help' always comes with a steep price so Cordelia must be desperate.

We're next introduced to Bubbles McGee (played by Joan Colins in her second role), another witch who happens to be an actress. We're introduced to her by a glimpse of her shooting a Christmas horror movie. It's bloody and ridiculous and so American Horror Story and has nothing at all to do with the actual plot. When the director yells 'cut' we learn that Bubbles is able to read people's minds when she overhears a set worker thinking how hot she still is for an older lady. We also see that Madison has come to collect her. Bubbles doesn't think much of Madison's acting (and even suggests she is the only witch who is also an actress which Madison takes great offence to). Madison cuts right to the point of her visit and says that Bubbles has been summoned because they need all hands on deck to help with the Michael situation.

There's a fun dinner scene where Myrtle and Bubbles are reconnecting since they are old friends from their school days at the witch academy. Much giggling over shared secrets and teasing the waiter who was thinking about what kind of underwear Bubbles was wearing. Madison is unimpressed by all of it and reminds them that they have a real problem on their hands because their next Supreme is the literal Antichrist. Myrtle points out that the warlocks are to blame as well since they are hellbent on clearing a path for Michael to take over. The real reason they got Bubbles becomes evident. They want her to read the minds of the warlocks, particularly Ariel, as they need to know what they are thinking. Bubbles is reluctant at first, even hinting that they are being dramatic by calling having a male Supreme the end of the world, but relents when Myrtle asks for it as a personal favor. Myrtle is going to have a dinner and will take care of everything. This should be fun!

Meanwhile, Cordelia gives the money to Dinah who calls forth Papa Legba. Dinah reminds her that Papa is not to be trifled with and that she shouldn't promise anything she cannot deliver. Papa shows up and wants to know if Dinah has reconsidered his offer. She declines again and says that she is not into snatching newborns (so she is declining the same deal that Marie and Fiona had with him). Dinah says she is only there because Cordelia paid her. Cordelia fills him in on what she wants. She wants him to open the gates to hell so that she can shove Michael in and trap him there. Seems like a great plan but Papa Legba wants a steep price to take part in something so dangerous. This is where Papa reveals he is not alone! He's brought Nan with him (who everyone remembers Fiona gave to Papa as part of a deal). Nan is doing great though and seems happy even though Cordelia is not happy about any of this (and even throws out a 'Fucking Fiona' for good measure).

Nan reveals that she likes hell. She likes causing trouble. Papa finally reveals that his price for helping to trap Michael is not just one soul, but the souls of all of the witches at the Academy. Nan begs Cordelia to accept. She wants to see her friends again as she misses them. Cordelia apologizes to Nan and says that she cannot accept. Papa immediately leaves after Cordelia declines. Dinah points out that now not only will Cordelia's 'girls' die but so will millions of other people. 

Back at the Academy Mallory is asking the others about the new Supreme. She wants to know if he is nice (he's not, Mallory, but he is hot). Coco interrupts their Supreme discussion to show off a new power she just discovered. She can now look at food and tell how many calories are in it. The witches have fun testing Coco's powers. It's a rather light moment that quickly turns dark when Coco starts choking on a piece of food. Everyone freaks out instead of helping her and Coco passes out. Mallory jumps into action and removes the chunk of food by magically creating an incision in Coco's neck and taking it out which restores airflow. Coco is fine and Zoey is seriously impressed. There isn't even a spell for what Mallory just did. This also makes me even more convinced that Mallory is going to play a role in the reversing of the apocalypse. Her powers are strong and she seems capable of turning thing back and restoring things to what they once were. I will be very surprised if this is not how this season ends. 

We next see Zoey run into Cordelia on the stairs. Cordelia is very weak. She gets Zoey to help her to her room. She reveals to Zoey that she is in no condition to fight Michael. Zoey mentions that she thinks Cordelia is fading because Mallory is the new Surpreme, not Michael. This makes sense and would be a much more welcome outcome but I really don't want to Cordelia to die.

Myrtle and Bubbles are hosting their dinner. They offer it up to Ariel and Baldwin as a way to apologize for their past behaviour (such as calling Ariel a pathetic pompous ass). Myrtle says she wants this dinner to be an example for both the covens and show that they can come together. Over some good food and a lot of wine, Myrtle and Bubbles discover that the warlocks are just as awful as I thought. Ariel thinks about how happy he is that John is nothing more than a pile of ash. They both think about how much they hate the witches and how they can't wait to kill all of them. Bubbles manages to remain neutral throughout dinner. It's rather jarring to see them laughing and having a good time when their thoughts are so full of hate. Bubbles reveals the truth to Myrtle as soon as the warlocks leave the table and they agree to tell Cordelia. 

Mallory is upset that her rising means that Cordelia will have to fall. Cordelia tells her that it is okay and that it is the way that it works. She will be heartened to leave the coven in such capable hands. Behold is disgusted that they are drinking and having a good time when there is an Antichrist on the loose. Myrtle is quick to remind him that he helped in Michael's ascension. Cordelia  tells them that they will stop Michael but she wants to celebrate because it could be the last time they have a chance to. Cordelia reveals that she has known this was coming for some time. It made her break a vow she had made and bring Myrtle back. I am so glad we finally get to see how Cordelia brought Myrtle back! We last saw Myrtle being burned at the stake so I was curious. Two years prior to this is when Cordelia performed the spell to bring Myrtle back. It's a very cool looking spell as it appears like her hand is burning from the inside. Myrtle is sad that Cordelia broke her promise but softens when Cordelia breaks down crying and asks for guidance. Cordelia shares with the coven that she had to do everything she could to prepare them for what was coming. Now that they are all united and ready she wants to take the first shot and go on the offensive with the warlocks!

Part one of the plan is to bring back John! Zoey uses her powers to collect all of the dust that is his remains. Cordelia tells Mallory to bring him back. This also happens to be her last test for the Seven Wonders. It, of course, works. Welcome back, Chyenne Jackson. The witches reveal to John that his fellow warlocks conspired against him. He reveals that it was a woman who killed him. This means that part two of the plan is getting this woman.

Cordelia approaches Coco while she is trying to eat ice cream. Turns out that knowing how many calories are in something makes eating some things really hard. Cordelia wants Coco's help with her next plan and Coco agrees. It involves approaching and distracting Michael's caretaker so they can capture her. It works like a charm since the caretaker is too busy shooting Coco (with what turns out to be tranquilizer bullets) that she is easily taken.

Back at the warlock school Baldwin reveals a chemical powder that makes people bleed out of their pores. He also reveals that he has modified it so that it only impacts women. This is how they plan to take out the witch coven. Ariel muses that he wonders what the witches would say if they could see what they've done. Cordelia walks in and tells them that a lady witch already made this exact powder years ago so she would say it is plagiarism. All they've done is switch the genders around. The witch who first made it was burnt at the stake before she could use it which Myrtle thinks is a shame. Cordelia makes the powder disappear by setting it on fire. Ariel, who is annoyed, tells her that her powers have already waned. This makes Cordelia even more angry and she uses magic to seal the warlock's mouth shut. She taunts him with this great line:

It was great. I fist pumped. Cordelia is a queen. I am so happy to see the warlocks get what was coming to them.

The group of witches lead both Ariel, Baldwin, and Michael's caretaker to the place where they carry out the burning of guilty witches and warlocks. She tells them their crimes (killing John) and says that since it is against their laws for witch to start the fire that burns a warlock she'll let their fellow warlock have the honour and John swaggers on over in a great coat and hat. Seriously, Cheyenne Jackson looks so hot here. He gives them a little wave as he walks by. John grabs the rest of the gasoline and pours it all over the caretaker. John makes a little joke that made me laugh for far too long:

Cordelia never undid the spell that sealed their mouths closed which makes what happens next even more terrifying. Imagine being burned alive and not even being able to scream as it is happening.

The caretaker uses John's invitation for last words to spout off some stuff about Satan and being excited to join his kingdom. It's all unsettling and made even more so when she laughs. John is over it and magically lights the torches that will set the stakes on fire. Nobody screams and the caretaker burns with a demented smile on her face. 

The episode ends with Cordelia and John leading the rest of the coven away from the fires and looking completely badass as they do it. The struts on Sarah Paulson and Cheyenne Jackson though! 

See you next week where we get to see Michael's reaction to all of this which I predict will not be good. I am just excited for next week because this was a Michael less episode and I very much want Cody Fern back on my television screen.