Welcome to Camp
Here is your official spoiler warning before we dive into the events of episode five - Red Dawn
This week's episode kicks off with a flashback that clues us in on why Donna (whom her family calls Dee Dee) is the way she is. We see her sitting in a car staking out a house. Another car pulls up and a man and woman get out and go into the house. Donna follows them and breaks into the place all too easily with a credit card. Once inside she hears noises coming from a room and she starts pounding on the door. She yells for her father to open the door stating that she knows what he is doing and he can either deal with her now or talk about it later with her mother. She, obviously, thinks her father is having an affair and cheating on her mother. He doesn't answer the door so she breaks in and discovers that her father isn't having an affair. He's actually a serial killer. He has the woman tied up and she's bleeding badly. He also has a bunch of Polaroid photos of previous victims strung up on the wall. The woman currently tied up isn't died (at least not yet). Donna says that she'll help her and tries to stop the bleeding. Her father enters the room carrying a bloody knife and tells her that she was never supposed to see this side of him. He tries to explain that he was born like this. It's a hunger that he can never satisfy no matter how much he kills. Donna is naturally conflicted and tearfully tells him that he's still her father and that he can change. She begs him to put down the knife. Her father ruefully states that he almost believes what she is saying before he kills himself with his knife. I feel like this explains A LOT.
We jump to Richard explaining to a still shocked Donna that Satan brought him back from the dead. His reason for Satan bringing him back:
Donna reacts to her nickname and Richard tells her that Satan filled him in on everything about that night. He seems almost impressed by her father's 'wild appetite'. She demands to know what Richard is and he tells her that he's evil. He basically makes fun of her work because he thinks you can't cure evil despite what she thinks. He claims darkness resides in everyone. He tells her that it even resides in her. It's her fault that Jingles killed anyone because she let him loose. In a way SHE killed those people. Richard tells her that she's evil which Donna rejects. Richard tells her not take his word for it and her father comes out from the woods and tells her pretty much the exact same thing. Her father wants her to follow in his footsteps. I have no clue how he is even there.
Back at the burning car, Xavier is loosing it. He wants to burn absolutely everything that they can so that it will attract help. He's manic and unable to be reasoned with even though people try. Eventually Margaret hits him over the head to knock him out so that he doesn't end up killing them all. Brooke suggests taking Xavier to a cabin. They do and try to come up with a new plan. They decide it's too dangerous to try to navigate the woods with all of the traps laid out. Brooke wants to just stay in the cabin until morning as there is safety in numbers and they have Margaret's gun. Margaret reveals she has no bullets left (claiming she wasted them killing Mr Jingles when he attacked her and Trevor). Margaret lies about seeing some lights on the other side of the lake and suggests going to see if there is anyone over there that can help. Montana volunteers a supremely not into it Chet to go with Margaret. His sarcastic "Sure, I love boats" is basically perfect.
Montana and Brooke are now alone which can only mean bad things for Brooke. Brooke wants to wake up Xavier. She's worried about him having a concussion. Montana muses that is probably best if he doesn't have to experience all of this night. Truth, Montana. Montana pretty much immediately grabs an axe to attack Brooke, but is interrupted by Brooke seeing Rey outside the window. Brooke's super happy that he came back and hopes he brought help. She runs out to get him and advises Montana to keep the axe close (which is kind of absurdly hilarious). Montana is obviously frustrated by this turn of events. Xavier wakes and asks if his fire plan worked and if help is coming. Montana tells him that help is not coming and fills him in on the fact that Rey might be back.
Brooke finds a disoriented Rey. She asks if he got help. Rey is not sure what happened or what is going on. He can't remember anything after getting on the motorbike and starting to drive out of the camp. Brooke is, naturally, concerned he hit his head. They hear something and run off thinking it is Mr Jingles. The campground seems to be operated under the same rules as Murder House and Hotel but I have many questions. Mainly, why aren't ALL of the counselors that Margaret killed all roaming around the place? It's just that one guy that we've seen so far. There has to be different rules, or this is some kind of side effect of whatever brought Richard back and the ghost counselor is something else entirely.
Margaret and Chet are crossing the lake in a rowboat when Chet realizes there are no lights over on the other side. Chet is being so kind and trying to reassure Margaret that they'll find help. Margaret continues to be the worst and reveals that she made up the story. There was never anything on the other side (which was obvious) and attacks Chet when he asks why she lied. Margaret replies, while hitting him with the paddle, that she just needed to separate them so she could kill them one by one. She hits him a few times and goes to cut his ear off. Chet starts screaming and fights back which means she doesn't get to fully remove the ear. Margaret ties an anchor to his leg and pushes him over the side of the boat while pulling his ear off. Bye, Chet. He, like Xavier, was a good one.
Rey and Brooke has hid in a cabin. They bond and Brooke reveals a story about a guy in school. She was first in the class to his second and it irritated this guy. He was popular so he made the other people in their class not talk to her. Brooke eventually just started to pretend she didn't know things to make her life easier. He took first place and asked her out for ice cream. She said yes. He eventually asked her to marry him and she said yes again. Her ex-finance was a real jerk. She says that she was never sure if she really loved him and pretended so long to be someone she wasn't that she isn't sure who she actually is anymore. Rey shares his own story of trying to impress people and forgetting who he actually is. This makes Brooke go all heart eyes and soft which leads to her kissing Rey. That kiss leads to them having sex after Brooke reveals that she doesn't want to die without feeling like she's really lived. Yup, ghost sex is officially happening. To be fair we've seen that ghosts can participate in sexual acts in Murder House and Hotel. I wonder if this will all turn out to be the devil attempting to bring about the birth of the Antichrist that eventually happens in Murder House.
Xavier is lamenting the loss of his acting career when Donna bursts into the cabin. Montana is not having it. Donna claims she is just there to help them escape. She reveals that she is why Mr Jingles is free and the entire 'study' she was planning to do. This set an already on edge Xavier off. He's livid and blames her for the state of his face (which is entirely fair).
Xavier pushes Montana out of the way stealing the axe from her and goes to kill Donna who takes off running with Xavier giving chase.
An awkward post sex talk between Rey and Brooke happens where she tells him that he was her first. Rey is gross about it. Brooke goes to get a drink after getting dressed and discovers Rey's head in the fridge. She, understandably, panics (I mean, she did just have sexytimes with a ghost) and yells at Rey to not touch her. Rey is, also understandably, dealing with his own trauma of discovering he's dead.
Brooke runs back to the cabin and loudly demands to know if Montana is dead too. Montana's reply is kind of the the best:
Brooke explains that Rey was standing beside her but his head was in the fridge and she basically begins to unravel. She says that she wishes she never came to this place. Montana tells her that she'll be leaving soon and hits her. When Brooke comes to, Montana begins screaming at her and outlines her motivation. She explains how met Richard and realized that he was a bomb she could use because she didn't think she could murder Brooke herself. Everything about Montana being the sister of the Best Man at Brooke's wedding comes out. Montana begins choking Brooke with an electrical cord and seethes that Brooke may not have pulled the trigger but it's still her fault. Brooke stabs Montana in the leg telling her to say hello to her brother and runs from the cabin after throwing a boom box at her.
Donna is hiding from Xavier, but runs into Jingles. Again, I am not even sure how Jingles is back. Jingles tells her that he discovered that it was Margaret that killed the kids. Other than the war he hadn't killed anyone until tonight and it's her fault. Donna agrees and tells him to kill her. She offers herself up and Jingles refuses to do it. He says there is only one person he wants to kill and Donna doesn't get to be left off that easily. She'll have to live with what she did.
Montana catches back up with Brooke and they have a vicious brawl. Brooke gets a knife and threatens Montana with it while slowly backing out of the cabin door.
Jingles catches up to Margaret and he returns the ear necklace to her stating that the belong to her. He begins to choke her but Xavier comes and launches a bunch of arrows into Jingles. His aim is really good thanks to being Robin Hood at some point. It seems like Mr Jingles has died and Xavier celebrates as only Xavier could:
He goes over to check on Margaret who jumps him and ends up stabbing him and taking his ear. Basically everyone is dying this episode. What is going on?! Bye, Xavier. You were too pure for your own good.
Mr Jingles reawakens and Richard is there with his evil laugh and asking if he believes in Satan. Jingles limply nods. I guess this means he's going to be whatever Richard is now.
Morning has officially come. We see the bus full of campers arriving. We also see Brooke and Montana still fighting. Montana has gotten the knife and is trying to stab Brooke. Brooke gets the knife back and the bus pulls up to Brooke stabbing Montana repeatedly. This causes the children to scream and for the bus driver to call the police. Those children are going to need therapy.
Margaret sees that the police are all over the scene and stabs herself in the leg. She limps out and claims that Brooke went crazy and started killing everyone. It's quite the performance.
Body cleanup is happening and we see Montana being put in a body bag. Rey comes across some paramedics who offer to help him. He is desperate. He wants to go home. The paramedic realizes he has no pulse and tells him to get into the back of the ambulance. They drive away but Rey ends up back at the camp as soon as they cross the entrance. I almost feel sorry for him. He despondently says he just wanted to go home and the ghost counselor tells him that he is home.
A police officer is loading evidence into the trunk of his car when it begins to drive away. The officer attempts to shoot at the car but it gets away. He goes to radio for help and Montana approaches him. She grabs the cops gun and shoots him. She's a ghost as well now and tells Rey and ghost counselor that they are doing purgatory all wrong when they chastise her. She thinks they can be gods at the camp. This cannot be good.
It was Richard and Jingles who stole the police car. They're driving towards LA. This tracks with real life as Richard Ramirez would be starting his murder spree in that area soon. Richard tells Jingles to put on his seat belt which the two find hilarious ... probably because the think they are immortal now.
We're only about halfway through this season so I have no idea what the rest of this season is going to even be about. I am guessing it'll be set partly at the camp with the newly dead ghosts adjusting to their new afterlife and partly in Los Angles where Brooke will be dealing with being charged with murder.
I hope Xavier is also back as a ghost and that somebody gets Chet out of the lake at some point. Oh, and I hope Trevor is back as a ghost. Perhaps he and Montana could still end up together in the afterlife.
We're down to just Brooke, and Margaret still being alive. I think it's safe to say that Brooke is the final girl.
Until next week ... it needs to be said again ... don't go to summer camp.
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